The Most Important Conversation We'll Ever Have
The Most Important Conversation We'll Ever Have
Has nothing to do with anyone else.
“The reality of life is that you can’t just always quit your job. You can’t just always go to your boss and say, ‘Give me the promotion, or I’m out of here.’ So when you’re stuck, you’ve gotta find it within yourself to say, ‘Ok, this is where I am. And if I’m going to be here, I’m going to be great.’” — Mark Cuban
Worth Listening To
This week’s episode is one I referenced back in Strong Opinions Weakly Held on January 5th of this year. It features David Goggins on the Huberman Lab podcast. Goggins is a former Navy Seal, ultra-endurance athlete, and author of the book Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds.
Other Learning This Week:
Peter Attia’s The Drive hosts Stuart McGill, Ph.D., a spinal expert and lower back pain specialist. (I will do a newsletter edition featuring this episode at some point. It was by far the most concrete, informative content I’ve consumed about the lower back, and that is saying something.)
a) The importance of weightlifting (not maximal load lifting, but simply building muscle and strength) cannot be overstated.
New insights on maximizing protein utilization for muscle protein synthesis.
a) Why consuming protein post-workout is so vitally important for building and maintaining muscle.
b) Blending fast-absorbing & slow-absorbing proteins can be even more beneficial for “muscle protein synthesis” (building muscle)
Lifting heavy weights can help you mitigate osteoporosis.
a) Jumping and weight-bearing exercises in particular — Springs & Brakes anyone?
b) I’ve been saying this for a long time!
Billy Oppenheimer’s Newsletter: SIX at 6: Getting Unstuck, Tom Brady, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Mike Myers, Steve Martin, and Little Women
a) Referenced in my piece below, and a terrific read.
Conversations With a Personal Trainer
I had a few wonderful conversations with clients that tie in together. In one session, we discussed prevention: how few people want to focus on being preventative and instead wait and end up having to focus on treatment. This was after she had a full preventative cardiac assessment. (If you’d like details on where, please message me.)
In the very next session, my client talked about how her husband wants to begin personal training. He’s very active but starting to experience various joint pains.
I was reminded of one of the key reasons I chose to become a personal trainer rather than a physical therapist: Prevention. Working with people like you to actively improve their health, rather than waiting to react to a frightening health situation.
Thank you for letting me be your toolbox and a part of your journey.
How We Talk to Ourself Matters
Everyone knows the name Tom Brady. Yet few knew his name while he was playing college football at Michigan. Likely because he began his career only getting two snaps in practice. He complained to his coach he wanted to transfer because he wasn’t getting a fair opportunity. His coach told him to stop worrying about what everyone else was doing. Focus on what you are doing. He then recommended he go work with a sports psychologist on campus named Greg Harden. He told Tom to make a mental shift. “Make those two snaps as perfect as you possibly can.”
“So that’s what I did. I’d sprint in there like it was Super Bowl 49. I did really well with those two snaps because I brought enthusiasm, I brought some energy, and I had more confidence in myself. It went from two good reps to four good reps then ten good reps. Before you knew it, through this new attitude that Greg had said to me — focus on what you can control; focus on what you’re getting, not what anyone else is getting. Whenever you get an opportunity, you take advantage of it; you treat it like it’s the Super Bowl.”
As you will learn in this week’s highlighted podcast, doing what we do not want to do is incredibly good for us. Like a muscle, this part of our brain grows larger when we do those things, and it shrinks when we seek pleasure instead. As Brady says in the interview (linked above), this new attitude was incredibly taxing. It wasn’t something he enjoyed doing. But it was necessary. Now we all know his name, whether you’re a fan of his or not.
Many of you read my post last week, in which I shared my metabolic test results. They weren’t horrible, but I was both shocked and unsurprised by how abysmal my aerobic capacity and cardiovascular strength were. Well, I let it happen. I chose to do solely what I enjoy doing: lifting heavy things. Not that it’s bad to lift weights, quite the opposite. However, that’s all I did. No cardio, zero. What the fuck was I expecting?
In the podcast, David Goggins has this to say about why he runs:
“Running is running. It sucks. But you have a choice to make. Do you want to sit down and go back to that guy you once were? No. So this is what it takes.”
“When you're nothing, nothing, and change yourself into something, like me, you call it happiness, peace, whatever the fuck you want to call it, people are missing exactly what went on with David Goggins. Why don't you smile? I do. I do. But I figured something out. That's why I am never-- you never hear me say, I'm missing something. I found it years ago. You find it in the suck. You find it in the suck. And you find it repeatedly in the suck to the point where you know exactly who you are… You create your own self.”
Perhaps I’m too hard on myself. My wife, Jasmine would certainly agree with that statement. But I have expectations of myself. And there are often barriers standing in my way of those expectations that I routinely fail to break down. So, it’s time for that shit to change little by little. How to begin?
I hate the fucking assault bike. Hate it. As many of you know, it’s dreadful. I would rather run 5 miles than get on the assault bike for 20 minutes. So, what am I doing to change things? Since starting this endeavor, as soon as I finish my last morning appointment, I get on that bike and ride. How long? Doesn’t matter. As long as I can. Day one was awful. 5 minutes in I was panting, dripping sweat, and wanted to quit. I made it just past 15 minutes. Day two I made it to 20 minutes.
When I ride, I turn off all noise. No podcasts, no music. Just me and my thoughts. Maybe I want it to suck even more?
Yesterday, four days in, something interesting happened. Seven minutes into the ride, my pace was higher than the previous three days, at a sustained 52 revolutions per minute (RPM). I started talking aloud to myself, “You got this, you can do this.” A favorite phrase of mine that I’m sure many of you are all too familiar with from your sessions with me. My inner personal trainer came out and began talking to me like I was my own client, only in more colorful language. I made it 24 minutes. It still sucked. Afterward, I wanted nothing more than to lay on the couch and pass out. But in just five days now, I’m realizing how much there is to learn in doing what sucks, even when it’s good for us.
Goggins and Huberman discuss the inner dialogue that takes place in each of our heads — not monologue, but dialogue: How we talk to ourselves and the influence it has on our decision-making. This is the most important conversation we can possibly have. Do we let our “Old Self” do all the talking? The voice that says, “Let’s just take today off, watch a movie, and eat ice cream.” Or do we create a new voice that challenges our Old Self to do more? To do something challenging, to do something that will suck but pay dividends after days and years of work.
Many artists use alter-egos to break through their own barriers. Beyonce used to use Sasha Fierce; Eminem has Slim Shady; Taylor Swift has Catastrophe (among others). I’m not going to name my new voice, but it’s a welcomed addition. One that I will have to work on building every day if I want to be successful. What if I want to make it 30 minutes, an hour, or two hours? Who knows? Let’s find out what’s possible.
When you repeatedly do things that suck to better yourself, things you don’t want to do, who knows what you’ll find yourself capable of. Since launching this newsletter ten weeks ago, I have discovered more about myself than I could’ve imagined. For one thing, I made it ten straight weeks of writing this newsletter. Through influenza, stomach flu, training, and two screaming kids at home. There is always time for the things we prioritize. What is your priority?