Individuality and the Inputs Unseen
What Personal Training Has Taught Me About Achievement and Individuality
“If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission.” — Unknown
We are an output-obsessed society. We care about the athlete’s performance on the field far more than who they are in practice. The grades on our report card influence the future of many, far more than their curiosity, interest, and work they put into a given subject. Our performance reviews are driven by the results we’ve generated for our company, and our company’s stock price is primarily driven by its forecasted earnings for the upcoming quarter and year. Outputs.
None of this is inherently bad. We should expect results and hold each other accountable for achieving a desired outcome. If someone chooses to work with me, I know they are, rightfully, expecting results.
But an athlete’s greatness on the field—what we see—didn’t come from asking for permission and fitting into a predetermined box. It is primarily dictated by the effort they put in behind the scenes: Their effort in practice, their nutritional discipline, and their willingness to be coached and critiqued—which we don’t see. In other words, the inputs we choose determine the outputs. Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Lebron James—three of the best basketball players of all time—are famous for their relentless practice habits. Kobe said it’s not about the hours you physically practice, but rather the hours you’re mentally present at practice. The inputs matter, and the inputs you choose matter.
Key Performance Indicators
This is as true in business as it is in life. Being healthy isn’t about the intensity of a lone workout. But it’s also not just about showing up either—though that’s a significant component. Businesses often rely on key performance indicators (KPIs) to determine if their efforts are successful. But choosing which KPIs matter is crucial. Track the wrong KPIs and you will likely get very different results than you anticipated.
As long-time readers know, my wife and I are building a Lux Health & Social Club—a micro gym, co-working, cafe hybrid. A question we’re focused on is which KPIs actually matter. For example, we could focus on attrition—what percentage of members are cancelling their memberships each month. Here’s the problem with that: once they’ve left, those members are gone. If we focus on attrition, we’re too late. And finding new members can be enormously expensive, what’s known as customer acquisition cost, or CAC. Instead, what if we focus on net promoter score, or NPS? How happy are current members? Are they telling their friends and colleagues about Lux? Are they thinking of cancelling? How can we prevent that from happening? These are the crucial inputs to getting the desired output: a thriving micro-community, ecosystem, and business.
These same principles apply to our own lives. If we take Arthur Brooks’ “be your own CEO” analogy, which KPIs are necessary to track for your goals? It sounds so simple. If you want to lose weight, get on the scale and track your weight, duh! But we’re human. That means it’s never so simple.
If you only track your weight on the scale, you will miss all of the adaptations your body is making in an effort to lose weight. A major reason why weight-loss-only programs fail is they are very successful at helping people lose weight; but the tradeoff is the physiological adaptations actually hurt long-term health. Metabolism and muscle mass—Two essential components for longevity—often decrease. When our metabolism slows, it’s like your car going from 35mpg to 25mpg to 15mpg. Our calorie-burning engine becomes much less efficient. Muscle mass is essential for structural support, injury prevention, regulation of our blood sugar levels, and, yes, metabolism. If you go on a starvation diet, you will lose weight, certainly. But you will create these negative consequences that have real, sometimes irreversible effects on the body—especially for men and women over 50, where regaining lost muscle mass is extraordinarily difficult.
Individualized KPIs
“There is no such thing as the average person.” — Todd Rose
Societal and cultural norms implore us to be like one another, to be average. Our school system teaches us, more than anything else, to fit into a mold. Look closely and we can see these cookie-cutter KPIs emerge throughout the first 22 years of our lives: Grades, social circles, fitting in, extracurriculars.
But research in neuroscience suggests there is no such thing as an “average” brain. And, in fact, that “average” is a construct that pigeonholes us into environments we aren’t suited for. Like a 2-year-old trying to fit a square block in a circular hole, we get stuck on paths that were never designed for our individual shape. Todd Rose’s research on individuality and intelligence has proven this. In his interview with Jim O’Shaughnessy, he cites what we miss when we lump people into numbers, labels, and averages:
“The second piece is you cannot know in advance what any one person is capable of, you can’t.
The biggest study on IQ ever was a 40-year longitudinal study that said, “Look how good we’ll predict society.” You predicted middle management. That was it. You predicted people who could fit into this one-sized-fits-all system and follow the rules. That study literally missed every genius of the last 40 years, including the top statistician of the time whose methods they were using to analyze their data. The irony was lost on them.”
The study Rose is mentioning was the “Terman Study”, or the “Genetic Study of Genius”. It’s worth noting that this study began in 1921, at a time when the eugenics movement was on the rise, as was the “standardization” of our modern world. The study, run by Stanford Professor Lewis Terman, followed over 1,500 kids with average IQs of 150. Terman expected these kids to change the world with their genius, inventing new technologies and winning Nobel Prizes.
The result was that mostly all of these kids were successful, but not in the way Terman intended. Most ended up in administrative, white-collar roles. However, the study found that no kids became world leaders, inventors, or Nobel Prize winners. Worse, however, was that the study rejected those who would shape much of the 20th century, such as William Shockley, who co-invented the transistor and won a Nobel Prize in physics. Moreover, it had no way to test for artistic or creative genius, only IQ.
To reiterate, I am an enormous supporter of expectations and outputs. Without them, we’d achieve nothing as a society. My problem lies not with standards themselves, but with the monocultural expectation that everyone must fit into the same square peg. We place kids on this path—just as we were placed on it once—before they can comprehend meaning and reasoning.
The Illinois Valedictorian Project—a similar study that began in 1981 and followed 81 valedictorians and salutatorians—found that many of these high achievers were so focused on their success and achievement, they didn’t stop to question whether the path they were on was the right one for them. This is from a review of the book, Lives of Promise: What Becomes of High School Valedictorians: A Fourteen-Year Study of Achievement and Life Choices by Karen Arnold:
“Many high achieving students become so focused on a trajectory that was set early on that they don’t explore other options and often, down the road, find themselves dissatisfied with their career choices, but reluctant to change because of the time spent.
Many valedictorians also struggled to find meaning in their achievements as they reached their late twenties and thirties. Having worked so hard, some questioned who they were working so hard for.”
They had followed rules and asked for permission, but they never learned to pursue their own curiosity.
Standardized KPIs—whether IQ scores, BMI charts, or generic fitness programs—are designed to predict conformity, not greatness. They measure who can follow the rules, not who can break new ground. What if we individualized our KPIs to match our own skillset, motivations, and journey? What if we honored our uniqueness by aligning our personal KPIs with what we found interesting?
The Process Matters
Results matter, but they are a reaction—the product of a complex equation. The best teachers I ever had throughout my education, the ones I vividly remember, all had this same characteristic. They cared about results, yes, but they seldom talked about them. They only spoke in inputs, often in the form of questions.
“What are you curious about?”
“I can see where you were going. Where do you think you went wrong?”
“Have you thought about trying it this way?”
“Can you see it from a different perspective?”
In other words, getting the answer correct was less relevant than the thought process and reasoning behind the attempt to get the correct answer. What Annie Duke refers to as “Thinking in Bets” to avoid “resulting”. The idea is the same: The process matters more than the outcome. If you achieve a positive outcome without knowing why, you won’t be able to replicate that outcome. Conversely, if you fail at a task without knowing why, you won’t learn from it and are likely to make the same mistake again. Developing and continually iterating a process is what makes an athlete exceptional as much as it’s how a company scales its operations. It’s how, even if you aren’t performing well, you know to stay the course.
I sincerely hope I’ve made those teachers proud by attempting to replicate their methods in my own teaching. Results, or outputs, are the direct result of putting in the work and allowing ourselves to fail. No one—not one, single, individual—gets an exercise right the very first time they do it. If I expected perfection from a client every time we performed an exercise routine, I would be setting them up for disaster. Either that routine would be far too easy and not challenge them to do better, or they would feel defeated because they couldn’t perform to my expectations.
As essential as outputs are to success, we must be allowed to fail. No progress happens without it, and it is essential to the journey. We should fear failure, yes, but the degree of fear matters, as does the magnitude of that failure. If I asked a new client with osteoporosis to perform a single-leg squat while balancing on a Bosu ball, that client’s degree of fear will likely be astronomical (as it should be—if a trainer asks you to do that without first building up to it, run) and the magnitude of that failure could mean a broken hip. If, however, I ask that same individual to perform a controlled step-up where, even if they stumble, they won’t be at risk of falling and breaking a bone, then the degree of fear is much less.
I could use AI to write for me. It would make getting an essay published into the ether a hell of a lot easier. But “The act of writing is an act of thinking.” — Derek Thompson. In the time it takes me to write, research, delete, rewrite, and repeat, I learn to ask deeper questions. Like learning a new exercise, I never get it right on the first attempt.
Infinite Humility, Curiosity, and Agility
This is the crux of the Infinite Game, which states that the only competition is with yourself, and the only way to lose is to give up—a game of attrition. Most importantly, the infinite game is positive sum. Two people, each playing an infinite game, can both win. A famous adage in the investing world is “Time in markets beats timing markets.” As long as you have your slice of ownership, the opportunity to make choices, the curiosity to learn, and the agility to change your mind, you can’t lose.
These same principles appear over and over, not just in markets, but in every corner of life:
“Long-term consistency beats short-term intensity every time.” — Bruce Lee
“Your success will be determined by what you choose to ignore.” — Dan McMurtrie
“Journey before destination.” — Brandon Sanderson
“Greatness cannot be planned.” — Kenneth Stanley
These aren’t simply maxims that make for good social media clickbait. They are the foundation layer to my own cognitive realm; they are the first and most important input for me to play the game. To attain our desired outcome, we have to start with our mentality. As Todd Rose describes of his Think Tank, Populace:
“We really don’t like politics, and we’re not very good at policy because we also believe those are all downstream from culture. And culture is downstream from mindset.”
Our ability to focus, to think, and to push ourselves to do hard things—the reward we seek is on the other side of that equation. If you want to lose weight, or learn a new skill, or accomplish something you’ve never done before, it starts with your attitude.
Last week, I was working with a client who’s in her sixties. In the roughly one year we’ve been working together, she’s always come in with specific goals and, while those goals were finite, there’s always an underlying infinite aspect—her primary objective: Do something hard; something she has never done before; and something that frightens her so she may overcome it. Her goal for the previous two months has been to do a “regular pushup”. A pushup from her toes without assistance. While this may sound easy to you, bear in mind, she’s in her sixties and has never done one before. Ever. Finally, today was the day. Until now, we’d been working on accessory movements to build the necessary strength and foundation. She comes in and I tell her today’s the day. Initially there is nervousness on her face—that gnawing doubt that creeps into her micro-expressions. On her first attempt, she did two of them in a row, with perfect form. Second attempt comes around, I ask, “What do you think? Up for trying another round?” She did four in a row, again with perfect form, and nearly a fifth.
This is the best part of being a personal trainer. It’s not the fitness or the health. It’s that every single one of us is unique. I have worked with over 150 people in my career. No two are the same. We are all on a different journey and, although two people may state the same goal, those two goals will look very different to each of them. You will never see me administer the same exact workout to two people. Similarities, sure (we’re different, but we’re still human), but everyone moves different, has different motivations, and has a different definition of success.
To achieve greatness for ourselves, it’s not about asking permission and fitting into an orderly box. It’s the humility to ask for help, the curiosity to wonder what we’re capable of, and the agility to recognize a point of failure, learn, and pivot. The inputs we make, the journey we’re on, and how we approach it are far more critical than any finite destination.
“The ancient code of the Knights Radiant says, ‘Journey before Destination.’ …A journey will have pain and failure. It is not only the steps forward that we must accept. It is the stumbles… But if we stop, if we accept the person we are when we fall, the journey ends. That failure becomes our destination. To love the journey is to accept no such end… The most important step a person can take is always the next one.” — Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson
Media That Inspired and Contributed to This Piece
Articles:
Everything Is Television — Derek Thompson
The End of Thinking — Derek Thompson
The Age of Anti-Social Media is Here — Damon Beres | The Atlantic
The Rise of Techno-authoritarianism — Adrienne LaFrance | The Atlantic
Why Students Are Obsessed With ‘Points Taken Off’ — Ian Bogost | The Atlantic
The Elite College Students Who Can’t Read Books — Rose Horowitch | The Atlantic
The Rise and Fall of Social Media — William B. Irvine | More Better Thinking
Are You Pigeonholing Yourself? — William B. Irvine | More Better Thinking
Our Shared Reality Will Self-Destruct in the Next 12 Months — Ted Gioia | The Honest Broker
Is Honest Writing the Next New Thing in Journalism — Ted Gioia | The Honest Broker
The Terror of the Great AI Displacement — Jason Calacanis
The one resource more precious than time — Graham Weaver
Podcasts & Conversations:
Escaping the Trap of the Standard Path — Todd Rose & Jim O’Shaughnessy
The Trap of the Objective — Kenneth Stanley & Jim O’Shaughnessy | Infinite Loops
The Power of Permissionless Action — Jay Yang & Jim O’Shaugnessy | Infinite Loops
Why Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness in America — Morgan Housel & Derek Thompson | Plain English
Everything is Television — Max Tani, Ben Smith, and Derek Thompson | Plain English
Malcom Gladwell’s Theories on Podcasting, America, and Joe Rogan — Malcom Gladwell, Max Tani, and Ben Smith | Mixed Signals
Is This the End of Literacy? — James Marriott & Jared Henderson | The Honest Broker
The Rise of the Anti-Social Century — Derek Thompson & Jared Henderson | The Honest Broker
Books I’ve Read Recently:
Stormlight Archive — I finished book 5, Wind and Truth, of the Stormlight archive by Brandon Sanderson several weeks ago and it is easily the best fiction book series I have ever read. In addition to wonderful world-building, Sanderson builds exceptionally believable, dynamic characters, with complex backgrounds who encounter philosophical, moral, and ethical problems that cause them to question who they are—things we often have to deal with in our own day-to-day lives. They say the best way to deliver a message is through storytelling and Sanderson has done it masterfully.
White Mirror — I’ve followed Tinkered Thinking on Twitter for many years now and thoroughly enjoy his ability to be undeniably optimistic about technology and the future. Coupled with his understanding of human history, and behavior his book gives a pleasant counter narrative to the dystopian future so much of media and culture throw at us. Above all, my primary takeaway is that humanities greatest trait is our need for discovery. But with every new technology we create, it is ultimately up to us—our critical thinking, curiosity, and mindset—that will decide whether that technology is good or evil.
Never Enough: From Barista to Billionaire — Andrew Wilkinson is another individual I discovered via Twitter. His book is a great reminder that money and status are not the key drivers of happiness. Status games happen even, maybe even especially, among the ultra-wealthy. But my key takeaway from the book was the underlying theme Andrew brings up numerous times: what motivates us in adulthood often starts very early in our lives. Our relationships with money, people, success, and self-worth so often seem to come from observing our parent’s relationship with those same things.